I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize