How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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