I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
