dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
