I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
