the condom got lost in my hair
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
