I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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