There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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