go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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