i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
