her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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