why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
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I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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