Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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