double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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