I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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