a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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