Princesses don't give blow jobs
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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