I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
