He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
