Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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