how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
