so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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