the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
