I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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