Porn is love you can see.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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