we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
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