Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
