btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
