Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
