I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
