so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
