glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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