you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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