got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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