Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
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I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
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Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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