IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
