Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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