I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
we're so committed to being not committed
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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