I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize