yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
