those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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