I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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