Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
