I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize