WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
