i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
