The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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