he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Randomize
