I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
it was like eating out sand paper
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
