So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
