That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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