We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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