I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
