Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
it's great music for shaving your balls
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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