i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
being pregnant is like rehab
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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