Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
