Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
