in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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