Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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