Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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