Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
