I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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