He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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