Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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