there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
