ugly people sure do ruin things
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
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I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
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Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people