When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
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i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
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it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.