You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
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her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
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I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.