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got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Randomize
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