I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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